We need to move on from traditional methods of political campaigns, where every thing is so excruciatingly mashed together by the media that we can’t tell the peas from the sodding apples or even the chicken for that matter!
Stop dumbing it down and just give us a grownup dinner.
None of the: You WILL have this wonderfully puréed organic British grown mouthful of patriotism.
Stop with the: Oh no no no, you can’t have a bit of our pie, wear it, throw it on the floor and then want something else.
YES WE CAN. We can have some of your pie; it is called sharing!!!
The grownups need to let us babies find our own way. Let us semi (but not dangerously) choke on a bit of
Cameron carrot before deciding we don’t need to see in the bloody dark because we’ve got torches!
Spoon-fed politics is tantamount to force-feeding. Look what happens when you force-feed: you end up hating the food, hating the feeder, hating spoons!
We don’t want to hate the food or the spoons. We just want to choose our own food and we don’t need spoons ok! We’ve got hands.
Babies scream, babies cry, they’re often up all night and they find it funny when they stick fingers up grown ups’ noses. Do you know what though? A lot of grownups could do with a sticky finger up their nose right now.
Listen to the babies. If you throw us in the water, we have a natural reflex to stop us breathing in water and drowning. If you throw us in the water we can survive. Can you?
We naturally know that chocolate ice-cream is much, much more yummy than cute “little trees”. THAT’S PROPAGANDA! They aren’t SODDING LITTLE TREES, they’re just plain yuck!
Enough now. I want Baby Led Politics from now on.